Wow....

Just a quick post...

First, just sharing that I *finally* have my teaching assignment for next year.  We found out on Wednesday.  I will be at my same school, but teaching 1st grade instead of Kindergarten.  This has it's ups and downs.  I have taught 1st grade before (for 2 years) but it's been awhile.  The last 3 years I have done Kindergarten, so I feel much more comfortable with that grade right now.   Also, I was really excited to try half day K for next year.  I wanted to find out how that was. Thirdly, I am *really* not excited about having to have some of these kids again next year.  I'm getting really annoyed by some of them right now.  I know that's bad to say as a teacher, but so it is. However, the other 2 Kinder teachers will also be moving to 1st grade with me, so I know who I'm working with and I *love* working with them, so I'm okay with that.  We'll see how that goes next year.  :)

Second, I just ditd my OPT for today.  I've been doing them since CD9, so just about a week.   In previous cycles, I have always had an extremely slow rise in the darkness of the line, so much so that the first day I have a dark line, I am always second guessing myself on whether or not it is the same or slightly lighter than the test line (BTW, why can't OPTs be the same as pregnancy tests, either you're about to ovulate or not?  Why so wishy-washy?  Stupid pee sticks...)  The last couple days my tests have been very light and then yesterday, slightly darker.  I figured I would probably begin seeing a positive by next Monday or so, based on what I normally see.  Nope, apparently not.  When I did my test today, it began to be much darker before I could even stand and flush.  Within the 10 minute time frame, it was *way* darker than the test line.  No ambiguous positive here today.  Interesting.... Oh well, guess it's time for the BD! :)

The appointment....

Well, just got home from the appointment.  Yea, dil.do cam... always fun.  :)  I do like the ultrasound tech though, so it wasn't too bad.  I walked in exactly on time and then was called back about 5 minutes later, so I didn't have to worry too much about having to see many pregnant women for long (that's very hard sometimes, as you would imagine.)  When I was called back, the tech first did the stomach ultrasound and took measurements, then asked me to empty my bladder (thank god!  That was hurting real bad from all the water I had to drink.) so we could continue with the internal cam.  When I was ready, she continued with the internal cam.  While she was doing measurements, I asked her exactly what we were looking for and she explained very thoroughly.  They were looking mainly at my overies and trying to find out whether or not the Clo.mid was actually working and helpign me ovulate.  They were looking for my dominant follicle (I thought that was what it was....).  She didn't see any promising follicles on my right side, and then she went on to the left side.  Man, that side was tender and painful when she went over there!  She said that she did find one good one on the left side and that might be why it was so tender.  Only one, but as she said, "You only need one, and that's what most other women develop."  True, true.... I was then able to put my clothes back on and leave.  They told me that my doc would call me tomorrow with the results.  It's going to be a long wait until tomorrow, but I might actually be able to take the phone call since we will actually be on a field trip to the zoo for the day.  We make sure to invite enough parents to be free during the field trip in case of emergencies.  It's nice to not have to have a group.  I guess we'll see tomorrow what happens....

PS:  Is it bad that, while I put my clothes on, I wrote down all the measurements she took that were on the U/S screen so I could come home and research them? :)  Oh well, it's my uterus, I can google if I want to! :)

Another day....

Another day to get through.... I'm doing better, although I did stay home again.  I just wasn't ready to face those 23 five year olds.....  It's nice to have support from my kinder team at school though.  I'm trying not to tell many people, since people don't really need to know, but I didn't want them to worry about me. (I know, that statement sounds silly, but I still, even now, can't help trying to help other people.  The one time I'm allowed to be selfish, I think, and I can't even do that right....)

Still bleeding horribly, but light at the end of the tunnel time.  My doc wants me to do another round of Clo.mid, same dosage, and this time I'm scheduled for an ultrasound on the 4th for, what I think they said, was called a "dominate follicle scan".  I wish I had written it down.  Oh well, I'm sure I can call and ask and they'll tell me.

Just trying to take it day-by-day and looking forward to to hopefully succeeding this next time.  *crossing fingers and praying*

It's done.

The test at the office yesterday was negative.  They sent me for blood work and they would call me the next day (today).  I had a bad feeling all the rest of the day.  This morning I woke up to horrible cramps and bright red blood.  I know what that means.  I tried going to school, but couldn't handle it and told my principal what was going on.  He was *very* supportive and was able to get some of the ladies to take my class for the day.  I called the doctor to tell them, and they confirmed for me that the blood test was negative and I was having an early miscarriage.  It's over.  I'm done and tired and can't seem to either stop crying or sit in a stupor.  I'm done.

OMG

Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god!.................................................


It was positive.... 2 were positive! :) *happy dance*

New additions and the obligatory waiting period

Well, the waiting period has commenced and continues to be a pain in my a** as always.  We're 7 days into it (about, FF is so confused about my cycles, and frankly, so am I.... Oh well, at least I know I *did* O this time...) and it's as hard to keep from testing as it always does.  I wanna know, but I know that it won't tell me anytime soon.  *sigh* Oh well....

To add to our craziness in our house, we got a new dog yesterday.  DH and I have both been talking about getting another one for awhile now (can anyone say furbabies?) but just haven't been able to find one.  We disagree somewhat on what we wanted.  I've always wanted a big baby (Mastiff, Great Dane...) and he wanted a Shiba Inu, Greyhound, or a Whippet.  I wouldn't mind one of the others, and he doesn't mind the bigger ones, we could just never find the right one.  Well, yesterday DH went and picked up our new baby, and he is a giant!  He is a male Great Dane, 2 years old and huge! :)  His head goes past DH's waist just standing on 4 feet normally, and he's 6'.  He is the gentlest, sweetest big galoot though. :)  And he's getting along great with our other 2 so far (Mini Schnauzer and long haired Dachshund).  Then again, our 2 deal with big babies all the time since we housesit for a friend's mastiff, and they go over to her house when we go out of town to play with their 4 total mastiffs. :)  He seems to be adjusting well so far.  I love him! :)

All the way here?!?!

Just a quick note.... It's Easter Sunday and me and DH were just sitting on the couch watching movies on TV when I began to feel dizzy and felt like the couch was on rockers.  I looked to see if DH was moving the couch somehow and noticed that he wasn't.  I asked him if he was moving the couch and he said, "No, it's not you?  I feel kind of dizzy too."  I told him I was too, and asked if maybe we had a gas leak or something.  When he got up to open the back door to air out the house, just in case, I noticed the water in our water cooler was shaking.  We then both looked at each other and said, "Earthquake?"  We changed to CNN and saw that yes, there in fact had been an earthquake in Baja, CA.  We felt it all the way here, around 200-250 miles away.  Not even in CA anywhere.  First one either one of us have felt before too.  *Very* strange, but neat! :)